When you realise that you want to dedicate your entire life to something because you love it so much, be it a person, animal, hobby or whatever else you can think of. To find yourself unable to pursue that is really really upsetting.
All I want to do right now is watch movies. Yes I know how lazy that sounds but I’m intending to study them at university. I don’t just want to watch, I want to think. I recently downloaded a list of the 1000 greatest films from some website I found and I want to watch and think about every last one, and I want the knowledge I gain from that to carry me into my university studies. In the same way you find a budding historian reading historical texts just to research the topic he loves and is dedicating himself too.
Ironically, my studies are getting in the way of my studies. My last year of secondary school has created a near unmanageable workload for me, and I’m forced to severely limit the amount of films I can watch, never mind write about. Luckily I recently was able to watch “How to Train Your Dragon 2” and after watching it I acquired the song “Where No One Goes” and have been listening to it since. When I listen to it I am constantly reminded of why I love the medium of film so much and also about how little I know about it. I haven’t even begun to tap into the inner complexities of what motion pictures have to offer, but I’m desperate to.
I’m still trying to review, but I can’t do what I did before, not until the end of this year. My year off from school after that will allow me to go crazy — hopefully — but for now we stay grounded in 1 maybe 2 reviews a week (if we are lucky).
It’s going to be a hard year though.
– Oliver Moore