Captain America (1990) Review

There do exist those special movies that alert you to their awfulness minutes into the film. In “Captain America” we are instantly treated to a scene that should be poignant, but instead the foreign language scene leaves us confused due to the scene being half subtitled. Half subtitled shouldn’t be a thing, it’s all or nothing unless you have a damn good reason for it. This movie had a $10,000,000 budget, “Reservoir Dogs” — A film I didn’t enjoy but can still appreciate — was made for $1,200,000. Take this opportunity to really let that sink in. This movie wasn’t theatrically released in America until 2011, and that was to promote the vastly superior “Captain America: The first Avenger“. If I had watched this prior to seeing that then I can tell you I wouldn’t have bothered watching the new one, end of story.

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Dr. No (1962) Review

It’s been a long time, and James Bond has evolved yet stayed recognisably Bond even to this day. “Dr. No” holds the distinction of being the first James Bond film ever brought to the big screen. Any journey starts with turbulence and it ends with it too. Fortunately James Bond doesn’t look to be ending any time soon, but it had to start somewhere, and I found “Dr. No” to be slightly rocky but a promising effort nonetheless.

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The Punisher (1989) Review

One of Marvel Comics darkest characters, Frank Castle AKA “The Punisher” is unlikely to be back on the screen for a while due to the success of the family Marvel movie. He doesn’t have the star power to attract viewers, and if it isn’t appropriate for parents to bring their kids too, who will see it? The Punisher is a character that will only succeed on the screen if he gets out of comic territory and instead goes for a gritty story similar to how Christopher Nolan managed it with Batman. This rendition of the character — the first of three so far — is dark, brooding, and yawn inducing.

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Howard the Duck (1986) Review

“In the Beginning there was… Howard the Duck!”, I wonder if Wilard Huyck and George Lucas were anticipating the future success of Marvel studios when they decided to utter these lines in such a biblical fashion. Perhaps they thought that Howard would bring a new era of comic motion pictures that were non stop blockbusters that would cater to both adults and children alike. “Howard the Duck” was, in every sense, the furthest it could possibly be from this picture of family entertainment.

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The Fault in Our Stars (2014) Review

Too often “teen romances” scare away anyone over the age of 15 and almost all of the male audience. Or at least that’s what I’m told, but the box office figures would suggest that each of these teenage girls see the film around 5 times each, but I digress. Marketing campaigns may disagree with what I say, but “The Fault in Our Stars” isn’t a chick flick, it is in fact a surprisingly well told story. It concerns cancer — or more appropriately — the effect a person dying has on those around them, and what happens to those people left alive once the sufferer fades into oblivion. After a story ends what happens to the characters? Nothing, they are just characters in a fictional story and they were never real, and therefore can never cease to be real. “The Fault in Our Stars” isn’t real, but it could be.

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