The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) Review

What a dreadful film. George Takei put it best when he said “Oh my”, believe me it’s hard not to “Oh my” once in a while during “New Moon”. “Oh my” why does that boy have his shirt off in the rain? “Oh my” why doesn’t she just listen to that pale boy from the shiny show and not become a vampire, he clearly has more experience than she does at being a vampire. “Oh My” how can a film feature so much god-awful silent staring for over two hours. How can director Chris Weitz seriously expect us to sit through this, I’m serious. I haven’t seen a movie this bad in a long while and watching it feels like trying to get comfy on a bed of nails. If you replaced “New Moon” with the ultra violence Alex had to watch in “A Clockwork Orange”, you’d reach the same end. In this way, I find “New Moon” to be quite an effective motivator.

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Twilight (2008) Review

It’s incredible how easy it would be to just cash in on this review. I suppose it’ll be quite popular, in relation to my other reviews so far, because people expect to hear me rant and get annoyed at “Twilight” because of all of its heavy handedness and unbelievable amounts of angst. That alongside its ridiculous amounts of success that have made it into a phenomenon, it’s definitely fun to hate. I fully expect to really find myself despising the series soon, and you’ll hear me get angry then. For now though, the “Twilight Saga” has begun relatively strong footed as far as these things go. Saying that, only in the tween romance genre would I ever be able to say that this is a strong foot… but there you go.

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