Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Review

I have next to no previous affiliation with the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. Until I watched this movie, my first “Turtles” experience, I didn’t even know all four of their names. Nevermind which was which. So my prejudices don’t have to be left at the door, I don’t really have any. That is a lie, Michael Bay has his name slapped all over this one and my recent forays into his way of doing things have been unanimously upsetting (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) but he didn’t direct in fairness. Jonathan Liebesman directed “Wrath of the Titans” which I had the misfortune of seeing twice in the cinema and fell asleep the latter occasion; and “Battle: Los Angeles”. I haven’t actually seen that last one and that is because the general consensus is that I should avoid it like the plague. Clearly “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” has everything going for it… so how is it? Make no mistake, he may not have directed but this is a Michael Bay movie, and all that implies.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) Review

So you’re thinking of going to see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” are you? Well alright, that’s fine. Really it is, I’m not going to stop you. It’s not against the law to be a masochist after all is it? You aren’t really doing anything wrong hurting yourself by watching this trash, but I think that if you have any faint glimmer of the natural instinct of self preservation, then you will stop yourself right now. Don’t make the same mistake as I did and watch “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” in the vicinity of sharp objects.

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Transformers (2007) Review

I think I’ve been in the room whilst “Transformers” was on about 6 or 7 times since it was released, I know the whole movie but I’ve never sat and actually watched the entire thing from start to finish (I’m sure a lot of people have had this experience with at least one movie). So I thought “Hey let’s give that one a shot” because I thought you couldn’t really go wrong with a blockbuster to waste a few hours of your time that could be better spent wasting away on games and daydreaming. Well… I guess I was kind of right, I mean, it could have been worse, right?

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